Well, I'm kind of in "stream of conciousness" mode, so I'm gonna try just writing incessantly:

The way to find out whether or not something is reachable is to keep going. Nothing will keep you from that goal. The only hinderance is the rose feeling of darkness. That is what will keep the pointy jabs from happening. That is what things seem to go like. Your head hurts, yoru nostrils are filled with chlorine. Simply nothing will make you feel good about yourself. Nothing. Not even friends and family. Not even love. The humerus tingles as the brain swells. It doesn't matter how it works or how things affect you. Simply put, there is nothing but cold dry blue.